So this post was supposed to be full of beautiful pictures of a birthday cake I was preparing for a daughter's friend. All awhile, sharing my experience about it on Instagram giving hints of success.
Even though I have no experience baking cakes or decorating them, I thought I could whip up a three-layered cake with an edible disco ball on top. I have to admit, I love my commitment to "Go Big or Go Home," but I 100% bit off way more than I could chew.
When I finished, I knew the middle layer didn't look great, but for some reason, by the time of the party, the icing had melted. As a result, the cake was a total flop! When I saw the pictures, my heart sank! I was so embarrassed!
This comment will come off pretty cocky, but I often don't fail. I know that sounds terrible! I'm not perfect at what I do; I fail often. However, I usually can fix any mistakes before calling it complete. And, well, in this case, I couldn't! It was gut-wrenching knowing that I bombed and just had to own up to it. No excuses, no blaming, I just failed!
This situation made me start to think about my kids and this critical time in their lives when they are having to "put themselves out there." Their teen years with sports, relationships, friends, school, and the many opportunities for success and defeat. Even though my boys are the best kids around, I know they will not always succeed like me with the cake, and what a great time to reflect on failure.
So, today I'm taking my cake attempt as an opportunity to discuss four ways to overcome failure.
Four Steps to Overcome a Failure
Remember Failure is A Part of Life
Only God is perfect! We are all human; we are going to make mistakes. Even though we can feel bad about the situation, we shouldn't feel bad about ourselves. You grow the most through defeat. However, that doesn't mean that your feelings of sadness aren't valid. It's okay to be mad, upset, angry, sad, but you can't let those feelings control who you are. Give yourself some time to feel disappointed, but then you have to make yourself move on!
Take Ownership of Your Mistakes
After giving yourself some time to be upset, take ownership and reflect. Then, ask yourself a few questions, so you don't make the same mistakes!
What happened?
What caused this situation to occur?
How could I have made the situation better?
Take Ownership of Your Thoughts
Now that you have reflected on what happened, you can't victimize yourself! It's so tempting and comfortable to blame others, but that's the easy way. And, anytime you want to grow as a person, it's usually not a painless process! Think about you, and how you can make changes.
Take your power back, and make a plan on how you can improve the next time. Will it be perfect for the second, third, fourth, fifth go-around? Probably not, but if it's something you want, you are worth it to keep trying.
I read that many self-made millionaires go through bankruptcy one or two times before making it big! It's okay to fail; it's not often people get it right the first time. Oh, and you can always think of Edison! Remember the famous saying of his 1,000 times to learn how NOT to create a lightbulb.
You aren't the first and will not be the last in defeat. Don't let this one situation define you! You are more valuable than one moment in your life!
Move On
Now that you had time to be sad, reflect on how to improve, and know your worth, it's time to let it go! You can't go back in the past, and dwelling and blaming will not change the situation. Take what you have learned and move on!
Remember Not All Failures Are As Easy As !, 2, 3, 4...
Okay, so I'm not a therapist, and I know that some situations are easy to get over, such as my cake flop, while others can take months or even years. Therefore, please do not think every situation is as easy as 1,2,3,4. Remember, it's okay to ask for help if you can't handle a problem yourself.
Choosing to speak to a friend, counselor, family member, or a help hotline are all ways to get support if you need it. I, personally, have seen a Christian counselor during a tough time in my life which was an enormous help to my mental health.
So even this week's content did not go as planned; no beautiful birthday cake, I'm hoping this post, along with its honesty, is just as valuable.
However, since I took so many pictures, I figured I mine as well show you my cakes!
This Was My Goal:
Top Layer:
Middle Layer (My Failure)
Bottom Layer:
My Disco Ball Failure.
First Attempt:
Second Attempt:
I finally surrendered....and Just Put It in the Trash Can!
What I learned...Buttercream will MELT!!! Use FONDANT...so your cakes are more stable!
So the gist of this post...I am not perfect, you are not perfect, but we are both wonderfully made by hands of God with unique gifts learning about them one failure at a time.
Happy Tuesday, dear friend.
Love,
amber :)